Regret.

I've always wondered how people can live without any regrets. I've heard it several times "I don't regret a thing I've done." Well, that says one of two things about you. Either you're a really good person and literally haven't done anything that merits regret later on, or you're a really terrible person who just doesn't let the things you have done in your past bother you. I've also heard the statement following the previous, "There's no point in regretting the things that I've done, they're done, I can't change them, so I don't worry about them." I can see the point made here. I just don't accept it. Regret is a mechanism that is supposed to teach you not to do certain things again. Living regretless seems a Godless act to me. If you don't believe that you are held accountable for your actions after death by a higher power, then I can see how you can live without regret.

I've also heard "I'll try anything once." several times. That statement really disturbs me. I know a couple people that died before the age of 30 with that attitude. One in a drunken car crash and another of spinal cancer from taking way too much ecstacy. It just seems such a reckless statement to me. Sure, we all will die eventually, but why not try to live as long as possible?

The reason I've been thinking about this is because I do have regrets in my life. Some of which aren't really worth the effort but still bother me anyway. For instance, I regret having been a bit of an ass to someone I worked with at a former job. I would like to seek this person out to apologize. I have actually been afforded a few opportunities to make amends with some of the people that I feel I have wronged.

For instance: When I was in college there was an artist who had an art installation displayed in the gallery right across from the photo lab I had to work in. The piece incorporated a television that showed several cuts of footage of politicians and war, with Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You." playing over the footage. I have nothing against Stevie Wonder but the song is repetitious as is having only played once. But to have it repeated over and over again is very grating. So, while I worked on my photos, one of my teacher's student workers supervised us as my class worked in the lab. I confided in the fellow that the particular piece in the gallery was really getting on my nerves.

I actually liked the installation in the gallery, because it was thought provoking, but the song was getting on my nerves so as I worked in the photo lab I stopped what I was doing, walked over to the art installation that was in the gallery and unplugged the sound feed so that Stevie Wonder would SHUT UP! Later I found out that the fellow I confided in was the same guy who did the art installation. I felt pretty bad about it but figured that was going to be the end of it.

As fate would have it, that wasn't the end of it however, because I was actually afforded the chance to apologize to him at a party that we both attended. He was very kind and I felt much better afterward. Now it is no longer something that irks me every time I think about it because I feel that I have rectified myself. So it has been a goal of mine to continue doing little acts of rectification that can both make the person I've done some wrong toward feel better as well as myself.